Most men are not commonly in the habit of discussing their needs and wants in a relationship. This can create a gap between what you think and what you know about your potential partner, and can result in your relationship failing before it even started!
As a relationship specialist, I have worked as a professional matchmaker and coached and consulted many accomplished men, and seen the divide widen between what is said and what is desired. I have worked with partners at Fortune 500 companies, CEOs of hedge funds, surgeons, philanthropists, angel investors, serial entrepreneurs, venture capitalists and the like, and in this time, I have learnt a thing or two about what exceptional men actually want. Here I share my top 8 tips of what successful, self-assured men really look for in a woman:
1. Appreciation, praise and approval
Men want and need recognition when they have done something well.Praise your partner and tell him how proud you are, and what he has done to improve your life together. Let him know that you appreciate his contribution and you are grateful that he is in your life. Your praises and appreciation will help him feel loved and respected.
2. Kindness and compassionate
Our day-to-day environment can be tough, competitive and stressful. It can feel like we are constantly being judged and compared to our peers. Showing your softer side, and expressing tender and considerate interest, extending kindness and being compassionate to men generates positive and meaningful relationships. A University of Rochester study found men are more attracted to kind and attentive women, and these traits can deepen connections and sexual desire.
3.Touch, intimacy and sexual connection
Intimacy is important to men, sometimes more so than to women. Men need frequent non-sexual touch, as well as a sense of sexual connection. Men want you to want and desire them also, to tell him that you are into him. Embrace him, kiss him deeply and engage him through physical touch and actions. It will make him feel loved. Be generous with your affection, and your attention.
4. Independence and personal space
Men, especially driven and successful men, need their independence. They don’t like to or need to be joined at the hip to express their love and commitment. They need space to recharge emotionally, and pursue their own personal goals and interests. Give him the space and alone time he needs to thrive. In a healthy relationship, independence isn’t a threat, but an asset. And it gives you both a chance to miss and appreciate each other more.
5. Understanding and presence
Men often think rationally, and like to fix things and solve problems. When dealing with an issue, men don’t always want solutions as much as they need your presence and understanding. Some men may not even want to talk about the details of what they’re experiencing, but you being there, being understanding and supportive is what he actually needs. Let him know that he is not alone, and that you are available if he wants a partner in problem solving.
6. Fun, humour and laughter
Let’s face it, no one wants to spend time with a miserable person. We all want to be with someone who can find joy in the little things, and is able to laugh at our jokes. This simply makes life more enjoyable. Bring the fun into your relationships with banter, and humour. Share your lighter side with him too – relationships bloom with laughter and love.
7. Trust and patience
A good man values your trust. He wants to be there for you, and also wants to know that he can count on you when he needs you. He will also appreciate your patience in helping him grow into the best version of himself. Your encouragement and patience will give him what he needs to transform and grow your connection. The basic building blocks of healthy relationships are trust and connection, and if you are willing to be there when the chips are down, he will know he has a partner to face life with.
8. Support and strength
They might not talk about it, but men still need you when they are facing challenges and struggling to overcome an obstacle. Men also needs a space where he could be safely vulnerable. He feels secure when his partner takes a step forward to love and support him when he needs it, without having to ask. Knowing that you will step up to the plate and have his back, means he can relax in the relationship as he is safe. Security is important for everyone, not just women!
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