Making Better Relationships

 

We have all been there before, head over heels in love when we have met “the perfect one”. We spend every waking moment together and dream about what the future will bring. We are so sure this is the deepest love we have ever felt. And then the day comes when the relationship doesn’t work out. Our world comes crashing down on us. Those breakups can be the most painful. It leaves us asking ourselves, “why has it not worked out?”

When we are young, we often think being in love is enough to sustain a relationship. Truth is, it isn’t. Our needs and wants as a person evolve over the course of a relationship. Sometimes, love ain’t enough. We need to learn how to build on a healthy, sustainable relationship. So, let’s take a look at the key elements of creating the perfect love.

Understanding

Having understanding in your relationship is more important than having love. Couples get together because they believe in the idea of happiness. Couples stay together because they still believe they can achieve it. The reason partners complain to each other is because they are not getting their needs met. This is where the need for understanding plays a role. [1]

Communication

Communication is key in building a great relationship. Learn to better understand your deeper feelings and those of your partner. Practice on improving better communication. Listen, be open and honest with your partner, pay attention to non-verbal signals and stay focus in the here and now. [2]

Respect

In a healthy relationship, partners are equal, which means that neither partner has “authority” over the other. Each partner is free to live their own life, which can include deciding to share some aspects of their life with their partner. Respect also means that, while we may not always agree with our partner/s, we choose to trust them and put faith in their judgment. This trust can be built over time as your relationship progresses and you learn more about each other. [3]

Trust

Trusting someone means that you think they are reliable, you have confidence in them and you feel safe with them physically and emotionally.[4] Trust is the foundation of every good relationship. When you trust your partner, you can be open and honest in your thoughts and actions. This will form a powerful bond that helps you create a long-lasting relationship. It takes time and effort to create a trusting relationship. A relationship has trust when partners show mutual respect, avoid controlling each other’s actions, listen to each other and resolve problems in a healthy way. To be loved is to be trusted, it is an implicit faith that your partner will love and care for you no matter what.

Support

The best possible thing you can get out of a relationship is that you’re with someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself every day. We can’t solely rely on anything or anyone to make us happy. We have to create the happiness part for ourselves. A supportive partner isn’t someone who will hang on your every word, do whatever you want, and follow you to the ends of the earth. That clinginess isn’t the “true love” that you’re searching for. Learn and grow together, so long as you continue to communicate assertively and don’t put unreasonable demands on each other. Become responsible for your own feelings and your own happiness. [5]

Be able to spend time apart

Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you. [6] Being able to spend time apart helps counteract the biggest relationship mistake.

Happily Ever After doesn’t exist. Every day you wake up and decide to love your partner and your life – the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s time to say goodbye to unhealthy relationships. It’s time to stop settling for less than you deserve. It’s time for you to embrace healthy relationships.

References

[1] https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/relationships-marriage-communication-understanding-needs/

[2] https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/04/14/9-steps-to-better-communication-today/

[3] http://www.loveisrespect.org/content/respect-in-healthy-relationships/

[4] http://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships/trust/

[5] https://tinybuddha.com/blog/what-it-really-means-have-supportive-partner/

[6] https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-10-secrets-of-happy-couples/

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